


Signs

by Fedora Of Adorableness (TheTimelessChild0)



Category: White Collar
Genre: Clueless Clinton Jones, Crack, Fluff and Humor, Neal Caffrey Needs To Pee, One Shot, Parental Peter Burke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 10:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29790396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/Fedora%20Of%20Adorableness
Summary: There were many.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7
Collections: WC²





	Signs

Peter spotted Neal’s actions way before the man himself could give them much thought.

“Need to use the restroom?” he asked, seemingly out of the blue.

“A little,” Caffrey admitted with a shrug.

“Thought so,”

He was pointed in the right direction. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jones commented. “ _Thought so.._ are you saying you can _tell_?” he asked.

“Well, when you get to be someone’s handler for as long as I have, you start noticing things like that,” Burke smiled.

“Like...what?”

There was a long list:

♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣ ♣

  
  


_Pulling up his pants_

Neal only tugged on his belt after washing his hands. Then, he’d be comfortable until something else made it feel loose again. That something else was always only the one thing.

_Flipping his hat_

It was no mystery that Neal Caffrey loves his hats. And whichever he wears, he always removes and fiddles with. The difference pertains to where he holds it. Usually, it is in front of his chest, so that he can act more in touch with his surroundings. Except when he needs to divert attention...from what his hand would be doing in his crotch. Now, he’s smart enough to do such a thing discreetly, but Peter has periscopic sight. So, the hat blocks the otherwise incriminating view.

_Crossing his legs_

Yes, there were many reasons one might want to do this, but none applies to Neal. When he is comfortable, as is the case for the vast majority of the time, he is fine keeping his legs separated at all times. Almost.

_Squeezing thighs_

This one’s a no brainer. Of course, only his handler has the powers of observation gifting him with the skill to spot it nearly every time. 

_Shaking legs_

This only applies when there exists no reason to be cold. So there is somewhat, a margin of error. Thankfully, the man who wears far too little clothes in October, tends to rub his arms as well in this instance. No arms, no freeze.

_Shifting in his seat_

Neal was pretty content with the comfort provided by FBI office chairs. Sure, he adjusted his position, however rarely, on occasion. Nevertheless, Peter could tell the difference. It was a lot less inconspicuous for one.

_Shuffling on the spot_

Yes, Neal Caffrey wasn’t exactly known for his exuberant patience, but grace he had. Like in the office, he stood perfectly still whether he was the one talking or not. There had to be a very good reason for any part of him indicating a desire to leave so blatantly.

_Facial expressions_

It is common for someone’s face to change in a flash when first noticing such a need. But it tends to be invisible to external scrutiny. Which is why Peter keeps such a close eye on his friend. Catching the crack in the mask, the instantaneous and spontaneous reaction to the ever so slight pressure provided by a filling bladder.

_Tricks in tandem_

There was one curiously combined effort among the con man’s methods of containment. It involved tapping one or both of his feet and scratching his thigh at the same time. This had a chance of being caught by anyone, and yet so far, it had only been Peter. Though perhaps Jones simply didn’t care to comment in a public setting, and Diana was polite enough never to dare.

_Cute little noises_

This is the tell that Peter has had the most difficulty ignoring, when striving to preserve his partner’s dignity. Something about what it somewhat starkly implies, brings out an almost paternal quality in the Suit. Like a special radar honing in on the man’s bladder. The very much grown man’s bodily functions. This makes it sound the alarms more than any other. When Neal is not speaking, he stays silent. For the most part. That is what makes this so poignant. Even amongst all the throat clears and swallowing of water and/or coffee, the abrupt end to the CI’s silence, attracts attention, and activates ears. Just not Neal’s own.

_Ears_

It was always the right ear. Peter had no clue why. It was merely a pattern of behaviour. After the first time he had seen Neal get up from his chair and return an enlightening amount of time later, in a visibly improved mood, he had subsequently spotted the difference. He would not get up after scratching behind the left. Only the right. And, of course, he would never stay seated in the opposite scenario.

  
  


* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“So, which one did he do this time?” Clinton inquired.

  
“Rubbed his thighs,” Peter explained plainly.

Jones stared blankly at his colleague.

“Right. It’s not cold, and he never needs to massage anything, at any time, anywhere,” he guessed.

“Nope!” Burke grinned.

Neal reappeared, again, obviously increased in his comfort level.

“Alright?”

  
Caffrey hummed in confirmation. Jones snickered once, unable to help it.

“What’s so funny?” Neal grew suspicious.

“Nothing,” Peter diverted attention from the slip-up, glaring disapprovingly at the other agent. He couldn’t help a slight smirk at the prospect of seeing the outrage when the person to whom subtlety is vital, discovers the jig is up. Speaking of jig, the man’s potty dance was truly something to behold. Borderline legendary. But that could wait approx. 3 to 4 hours...depending on his fluid intake.


End file.
